Hello strangers!
I know it has been a long time since I've written. I'm working on this :) I have just been inspired to share the story of Harrison's birth. I have to admit, I am doing this purely for selfish reasons. I feel like I am forgetting the details and want to put this down on paper - or rather, put it on screen - as soon as possible so I have it on record forever. I can't wait to one day share this with Harrison when he is older.
If you have no interest in the details of this scenario I suggest you stop reading now!
I will start with the morning of July 26. The first "flag" should have been my shower. It was early in the morning. I had to get up extra early because I had an appointment at the bank about our new (to us) car. A second vehicle for H and I to cruise around in on maternity leave - hooray! This was a huge deal to us after sharing one vehicle for several years. Anyway, so I am in the shower and all of a sudden I am overcome by the heat or something. I need to be sick. Like right now. Then came the choking. I had to open the curtain and hop out of the shower...dripping all over the bathroom floor as I tried to catch my breath. Eventually I was able to maintain steady breathing and feel semi-normal again. I thought maybe I was coming down with something and/or my shower had been too hot for a very pregnant lady. I should mention at this point I was only 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant so I did not think labour was a possibility yet. Most people will gladly tell you that you will be well past your due date with your first child, so you never think you'll be a few weeks early. Since I was feeling okay again, I got dressed and off to the bank I went. I told my Mom about it that morning and she made some comment about how it was probably a sign that things were moving along. I didn't realize at the time that they were moving so quickly.
The rest of the morning and afternoon were fairly uneventful. We had our pregnancy photos scheduled to be taken that evening with our best friends Cheryl and Mike. Cheryl's due date was exactly one month after mine. So Cheryl and I ran some errands that afternoon. We went to get our eyebrows waxed, for one. I remember laying on the table chatting with the eyebrow wax lady about how I hoped it wouldn't be too much longer as the giant belly I was lugging around (and it was HUGE) and the heat were really getting to me. As she helped me down off the table she told me she hoped our little one would come sooner rather than later. We continued our errands with a trip to Old Navy where we struggled to find shirts that would flatter our ever-growing figures for our photos. We settled on a couple of cute ones and headed home.
I believe the photos were scheduled for 7 pm that evening at Blooming Point beach. By the early evening it wasn't looking good for the photos. It was pouring rain outside. I was disheartened. I knew it would be a challenge to find another night that the four of us were free, and that Jason, the photographer, was free. We were running out of time. We got to Cheryl and Mike's a bit early. I remember as I walked in and Mike saw me, his jaw dropped and he said something like "holy crap". He hadn't seen me in a week or so and my belly had grown apparently. I think I was doubling in size everyday by then!
By some miracle, the rain hadn't even started in Blooming Point. In fact, the sky was blue and the sun was shining, Jason told us. So we piled into the Roberts' Saturn and headed for the beach. Driving along the bumpy road I mentioned that I was having some weird pains. They were nothing I couldn't handle and I certainly didn't think them to be labour pains or "real" contractions. I figured they were more Braxton Hicks which I had been experiencing a little bit on and off. I can remember there being one other time where they were actually painful, so I didn't think anything of it. The four of us joked about how awful it would be if it was real labour because I couldn't possibly have a baby in Cheryl and Mike's beautiful new car - it would ruin the leather seats!
I only noticed a few "pains" during the photos. I was probably too distracted to notice them. Maybe H gave me a break so I could get some decent shots :) After we were all piled back into the car they started again but, again, they weren't anything to freak out about. They weren't overly painful, they were more uncomfortable. We made a pit stop at Cheryl's parents' house. I can't for the life of me remember why. It may have had something to do with needing to use their printer - I can't remember. Anyway, we walk in the house and Sheila sees me and she is shocked by how much I have dropped. She asks me how I'm feeling. I tell her about the weird pains and she gives me a look that says "you're gonna have a baby soon."
These are a few of the pictures taken at the photoshoot.
Photographer: Jason MacLean
It was "Bachelorette" night so we made another pit stop at the Petro to grab some snacks for the show. Let me point out here that the guys would be putting together Baby Girl Roberts' dresser and not watching The Bachelorette. Anyway, we get to the Petro and I realize I can't go in. Suddenly my little uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions are turning toward the more painful end of the spectrum. We all laughed it off and Cory agreed to get my snacks for me. I can't remember what they were exactly. I know Pepsi was probably involved and perhaps chips? I know that part isn't important but I feel the need to recall every little detail of this experience.
The Bachelorette begins but we aren't paying too much attention. Lucky for us it was only "The Men Tell All" episode, so it was pretty boring anyway. The pains continued and Cheryl and I were stumped. She suggested we start timing them - just for the heck of it. After three or four more contractions she tells me they are three minutes apart exactly, everytime. Huh. They are lasting between 20 and 40 seconds. Huh. Well certainly labour would not progress this quickly for a first timer, so again, we convince ourselves it's just Braxton Hicks. I'm surprised by how painful these contractions are becoming so I decide to give Labour & Delivery a call anyway. Just in case.
Cheryl and I at the photoshoot
Photo by Jason MacLean
A kind nurse (who would later turn out to be my labour nurse) answers the phone. I blurt something out that sounds like this: "Hi. I'm almost 37 weeks pregnant. I'm having contractions every three minutes. They kind of hurt. It can't be labour, right?" She asks me a few questions and probably sensing my anxiety assures me that I am probably correct - it's most likely not real labour. It could be an irritable uterus. I could be dehydrated. I should drink lots of water and go to bed. Okay. I was relieved. I was terrified of giving birth, I didn't feel ready yet. I couldn't wait to meet my boy but I felt so ill prepared when it came to motherhood. Sure, I had all the essentials. The nursery was finished and looking beautiful. All the tiny clothes were washed and either hung up in the neatly organized closet or folded up in the new change table/dresser combination. So after about another half hour of pacing the floors Cory and I head home.
I immediately change into my jammies and go to bed. I last there for maybe two minutes. They are becoming increasingly painful and I am concerned that if this isn't labour something is really wrong with me. I won't be able to last the night if these pains continue. I decide to try a bath. I think Cheryl had told me to try that if the pains didn't subside. I am willing to try anything. I just want it to go away. I last in the bath for maybe fifteen minutes. At first I thought it was working because once I was in the bath my first contraction seemed to take a couple of extra minutes to happen (but made up for it with intensity!). No such luck. I called Cory to come help me out of the tub. I had to call several times because apparently he had fallen asleep already. I put my jammies back on and slid into bed. This just wasn't going to work. Either I was in labour or something was really wrong. Cory suggested I call the hospital again before we go in.
So at 1 am I made the second call. Same nurse. I didn't really ask her anything. I said something like "Listen, I called earlier and the contractions haven't stopped. They are still only 3 minutes apart or so and have increased in intensity. I'm freaking out." She told me if I was freaking out I could come in. There was definite skepticism in her voice. There was no way she believed me to be in labour. I told Cory she told us to come in so we got ready. At the last minute he saw my hot pink hospital bag in the kitchen and asked if we should bring it. I wasn't sure. We ultimately decided to bring it just in case. My camera was not packed in the bag as I was still using it on a daily basis, so unfortunately I don't have any photos of the labour process or the first moments of his life :(
When we arrived at the hospital Cory told me he would drop me off at the door and go park. I wouldn't let him. I was too embarrassed to walk into that hospital alone, even in the middle of the night. The truth was I knew I was in pain but I also "knew" there was no way I could be in labour. I thought it was going to turn out to be nothing and I would be humiliated. The commissionaire let us in and I told him we were going to labour and delivery. He was like " uh, yeah, I kind of figured that out on my own." Let the humiliation begin. He asked if they knew we were coming and I said they did. He told Cory to go to admitting and he would wheel me down to labour and delivery. I refused the wheelchair...he said he would get in trouble with the nurses if he let me walk. Oh God. This was going to be my most embarrassing moment when they sent me me home a few minutes later. And I have had some pretty embarrassing moments. I was also worried about how Cory would find me. I became much more attached to him in pregnancy and if there was a chance, even a slight one, that this was the real thing, I didn't want him to leave my side for a second. I knew my way around the hospital since I work there but Cory did not and this made me nervous.
My nurse, Jane, took me from the commissionaire and showed me to a small room. She gave me a gown and sent me to the bathroom to gown up. I had another contraction in the bathroom. She asked me some more questions when I came out and wanted to confirm that the contractions were in fact coming every three minutes. I insisted they were. I could tell from her face she didn't believe me. She asked when I had last had one, and I told her about the one in the bathroom. She told me they would monitor them and see what was going on. So she and a student nurse named Marsha hooked up this band thingy to my belly and we waited. Cory showed up right before they hooked it up to my relief, so I didn't feel so alone and quite so frightened. After a few minutes of monitoring Jane assured me I was in fact having contractions (thank God I'm not crazy) and she would need to check my cervix to see if it was labour. Oh no! This part terrified me. I immediately reached for Cory's hand as I prepared for the unpleasantness. It wasn't as bad I as thought. Huh. I think it was probably overshadowed by all the painful contractions! I watched Jane's face as she "checked" me which seemed like FOREVER. She got a weird look on her face and then she said "Well....I think you're in labour." Oh. My. God. My eyes immediately went to Cory's and welled up with tears. I was stunned. I knew I was in horrible pain, worse than anything I had ever experienced but most of me truly believed that this was just my body playing tricks on me. He just smiled back at me...I think he was in shock too. He really didn't think it was the real thing. The student nurse saw the tears right away and asked if I was okay. I told her I was fine, just surprised and really scared. She was great, really supportive and excited about her job. Harrison was moving around a lot in my belly and you could see all sorts of movement of what I assumed to be knees and elbows or something and she was very excited about this. It was cute.
Jane had left the room to go notify the doctor or something and I suddenly realized this was actually happening and I needed some more information. I asked Marsha how many centimeters I was dilated and which doctor was on call. Both very important questions. She told me Dr. C was on call (phew). She was on my list of "good" doctors so this made me very happy. I obviously would have preferred my regular OB-GYN but he was on vacation so I knew that was a no-go. It was about 2 am at this time. I figured there was no way I would have the baby before the end of the doc's shift so I asked who would be on call after that. She knew Dr. C was on call until 7 and she wasn't sure who came on after that. Note to self: try to have the baby before 7! She went to find out from Jane how many cm I was dilated. She came back in shortly after and informed me 3-4. I was shocked! That was pretty far along, I thought, for such a short time. I think I based this on births I've seen on TV where they stay at 1 cm for, like, 24 hours. Like when Rachel gave birth to Emma on Friends. I also instructed Marsha to tell Jane I wanted an epidural and as soon as possible. I knew things must be progressing quickly and I wanted my epidural!
Once in the delivery room Dr. C came in to check me herself. She was very kind to me and I was lucky to have her. She checked me and told me I was actually almost 5 cm. What?? Holy crap this is going fast. Get me my epidural! She told me that the anesthetist had been called and would be on her way to the hospital shortly. I told Cory to go call Cheryl as we had promised her we would let her know if we went into the hospital. Initially when we made the decision to go to the hospital I really thought they would send us right back home so opted to wait to make that call. I told him to also call my Mom and tell her to get here as soon as possible as we had made the decision to have her in the room with us. My Mom is an LPN and is great at taking care of people so I thought she would be a huge help, and I knew that it would mean so much to her to be there. He made that call and also called his Mom, Heather, to let her know what was going on.
By the time Mom arrived, probably 15 minutes later, I was in so much pain I didn't know if I could make it through. I had stopped talking altogether about 5 minutes before. I answered the nurse's questions and just tried to power through what was happening. Mom was talking away to me and I had to just ignore her and try to make time go faster so the anesthetist would arrive already. Dr. C had asked if I needed something for the pain while we waited to get the epidural. She didn't ask me though, it was almost as if she wondered it aloud. I gave her a resounding "YES!" but she just gave me a weak smile and left the room. I guess she figured it was better to wait - I'm not sure. I kept hoping she would come back with some magic pill that would make this pain stop. It got so intense that I had to get sick a few times. There was no warning. It just happened. All over my gown. Yuck. This is when all my pride went out the window. I tore off my gross gown and waited while they grabbed me another gown and helped me into it. I just stood there in my room completely naked and I didn't even notice, really. This is what happens to you in labour, or at least this is what happens to me in labour. My self-consciousness was gone for the time being. I was too focused on making it through this to care about anything else.
At this point I just told kept telling myself "one more". One more contraction until the anesthetist finally gets here. And then one more after that and so on. After what seemed like forever but was probably only 45 minutes to an hour she arrived. I knew she was going to have to explain to me all the risks and benefits, what the procedure was like, what to expect etc. I knew all this from typing this stuff in Medical Records. I just kept nodding and yes'ing and hoping she would just do it already. I had been pretty scared of this part because I knew that getting a needle in your spine is a pretty big deal and that any movement can be dangerous. I was very scared I would sneeze or get one of those shivers and be paralyzed or something. I had thought a lot about this in the last several months. However, when the moment arrived I really wasn't scared. I was more scared of what would happen if I didn't get this freakin' epidural! I sat on the edge of my bed facing Cory who sat in a chair. I leaned over and placed my hands on his knees. He held them there. I kept telling her to wait because my contractions were practically on top of each other and I was scared of getting the needle during a contraction. She told me they were too close together to wait and I just had to deal with it, basically. So I squeezed my eyes shut and waited. I didn't feel it at all. The pain of the contractions was way too intense to worry about some silly needle. Dr. M. told me the epidural would take about twenty minutes to kick in. It seemed like forever to me. I continued on with my "one more" strategy. Just one more contraction until it kicks in, just one more, just one more....
Right after Dr. M left Jane wanted to check me to see how things were going. I nodded, kept my eyes closed, and struggled through yet another contraction. My eyes shot open, however, when she told me I was fully dilated. Um...what? "Fully dilated?!", I exclaimed. She said yes and asked me if I had an urge to push. I didn't think so. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I heard her tell Cory and my Mom that hopefully I could have a little rest and then start pushing. I listened to Jane talk Marsha through different nurse stuff in the chairs to the left of my bed and Cory and Mom talked quietly in the chairs to my right. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and said that I thought maybe I felt like I had to push...I wasn't sure. I had never been in labour before...how was I supposed to know? Jane had left the room for a moment so Mom went to get her and tell her this. She came in and the pushing began.
Cory and I had discussed the whole giving birth situation before. I was clear I did not want him watching from "down there" as I didn't figure he'd ever look at me the same way again. That was more than okay with him. So, we had decided he would stay up near my head during the whole thing. He held my right leg and my Mom held my left as I pushed. It took me a while to push correctly. Again, I had never had a baby before, how am I supposed to know? After the first couple I got the excited encouragement from Jane and Marsha: "Exactly like that Sherri! Keep going!" A couple of times I felt like crying and would say "Ow!" in a rather pissed off/in torture kind of voice and Jane told me to breathe. I may have responded with "I am breathing!" a little too forcefully. I told them my face was going numb and was told I wasn't breathing correctly. I knew the right way - in your nose, out your mouth - but I just felt like I couldn't do it that way. I was more hyperventilating. I do have to say though the pushing was the easiest part for me. By this time the epidural had kicked in. It hadn't helped me with my contractions at all as I was already fully dilated by the time it started doing its magic, but I'm so thankful I had it for pushing the baby out. Cory kept quietly cheering me on and encouraging me, almost whispering them to me in my ear. I wanted to look in his eyes and see his face during this experience but I lost all sense of reality. I couldn't respond to anyone, I just dug deep and hung in there, basically.
After 15 minutes or so of pushing Dr. C. came in and got into position. I took this as a sign that the baby would be coming soon but at the same time I knew I had been pushing for a short time and expected this to go on for much longer. Like hours. After a couple of pushes I asked Dr. C if things were progressing at all and she said they "oh yes, definitely!". Mom kept telling me she could see the head, but they had been saying that right from the very first push. Then all of a sudden my Mom felt faint and Jane rushed her to the bathroom where she was given cold compresses. She came back two minutes later and said she was just hot and tired and that she was totally fine.
All of a sudden it seemed like it was finally time and Dr. C was telling me that the head was out and that it looked like a big baby. Then he was out and I saw him. It was 5:06 a.m. He looked....purplish. She cut the cord herself right away and handed him off to some other people I hadn't even realized were in the room. He wasn't crying which I knew wasn't good but we could hear him breathing and making little baby noises, everyone was calm, and they were no codes being called, so I knew it wasn't anything too serious. I asked Dr. C if everything was okay when she came back over and she said he was most definitely okay: pink, good pulse, breathing, he just hadn't had that one big cry, probably due to fluid in his lungs so they would have to take him up to the nursery. I was relieved that he was okay, and again, thanks to working in MR and typing consults etc., I knew this wasn't that unusual. They brought him over to me and set him on my chest. It was magical. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. His perfect little pink pout sticks out the most in my mind and his eyes wide open and looking at me. I couldn't believe this perfect little guy had come from me - it was the greatest gift. They told me they were taking him up now and invited Cory to come along. Cory looked at me for reassurance and I told him to definitely go and be with our baby, that I was great now. And I was. I kept saying "I did it!" It was the best feeling to know that I had been strong enough to endure this and that my precious boy was finally here and he was beautiful.
I delivered the afterbirth which felt really gross. Dr. C thought it was quite large. I didn't get a look at it - though I meant to! She started sewing me up and we chatted a little bit. I told her I typed her stuff and that she was an excellent dictator which we so appreciate in my department. She told me what a great job I did. Cory came down with exciting news: Baby was doing well and was 9 lbs even and 21 in long! Needless to say everyone was surprised by his size given that he was over three weeks early. My first thought was that my due date was wrong. I had had a chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage) the month before, so I thought that we made a mistake and that that pregnancy had actually continued and therefore my dates had been off by a month. I explained all this to Dr. C and she said that wasn't the case. Harrison was acting exactly as she would expect a 36/6 week baby to behave and there were certain physical characteristics that coincided with 36 weeks as well, like the white filmy stuff that he had been covered in. So, it turns out I just grow very large babies! ;)
I called my Dad and Cheryl from the delivery room while I waited to be taken up to Unit 4. My Dad was excited and so very proud of me. He couldn't wait to meet little Harrison. Cheryl was shocked to hear my voice on the line, I think. I told her she was an aunt and she couldn't believe it had happened so quickly. As another very pregnant lady she had heard the stories of the intense long labours of first-timers too. After those phone calls we made our way to the Maternity Ward. They took me to the nursery and showed me where Harrison was. They told me I could come see him anytime I wanted to. Again, I couldn't get over how beautiful he was. The most perfect baby I had ever seen.
They showed me to my room and my nurse, Amanda, helped me into my bed. The epidural was still working so I couldn't completely feel or work my legs correctly. My family doctor came in very shortly after (he works fast!) and told us he had just been to see Harrison and that the pediatrician was checking him out now. He told us that the pediatrician would be here to speak with us shortly, but that essentially Harrison was born a little over three weeks early and was behaving as such. He would be fine, just had to catch up a little bit. That sounded like good news to me. Dr. Gaston, the pediatrician, came in soon after and reiterated what Dr. Morais had told us. He had some ailments, but nothing they wouldn't expect from an early baby. He had some fluid in his lungs. He was pretty sure there was no infection but IV antibiotics would be given as a precaution. He had a heart murmur common to premature babies that would probably disappear in a few days. He had jaundice which, again, was typical of early babies and would be taken care of with the bili lights. He was very positive and assured us that Harrison was healthy and just needed to catch up before we could go home. I was very pleased to hear this from the expert and hoped it wouldn't take too long before we could go home. I was on cloud 9 after speaking with him, knowing that Harrison would be just fine and it was getting late enough in the morning that I could start making a few more phone calls.
It was shortly past 7 in the morning and I knew one of my coworkers, Donna, would be in the office by now. I told her to guess where I was calling from and she knew right away: "Not Unit 4?!". Yeppers! That was my favourite game to play when I called people. I always asked them that same question. I waited until a more reasonable hour and then had to call one of my closest friends and a mommy-to-be herself, Tanya. I kept getting no answer. I knew she had to work at 9 and is usually late leaving for work, so I knew she couldn't have left already. She must be in the shower. I kept calling and calling and finally she answered. It was so exciting to be able to tell her! She was shocked, just like everyone else was. I called a few other girlfriends and visited with my parents and mother-in-law. It was awesome. As each of them came in Cory took them to the nursery to show off little Harrison. My legs weren't working correctly so it was a while before I could go join them. When I finally did I just stared at him in awe. I couldn't believe he was finally here and that he was so perfectly....perfect.
My next blog will be part 2 of the story - our week-long stay in the hospital.
